Saw 3D

Game over? So this is the "last" film in the Saw franchise. I had thought that part five was the death of Saw. But part six really injected some energy into the franchise. So I had really high hopes going into to this. Sadly all the hard work of part six is completely undone again. As this was the last film I was expecting the final game to focus on someone moderately more connected to the previous saw films. And seeing the return of Cary Elwes as Dr. Gordon thought it would centre on him more. Although he has an essential part to play in the film it's nothing more than a cameo. Instead a completely new character plays the game this time round. I will not divulge why, as not to spoil the surprise. Needless to say the film ticks all the saw boxes, traps, plot twists, blood, guts and lashings of gore. But while there are plenty of traps on display, none of them are to the standard of previous efforts. I was glad that the Hoffman and Jill Tuck story continued. (Complete with a shocking outcome) because Detective Hoffman for me is still one of the best movie baddies of recent years. The film did end on what seems like a proper ending. Things seemed to be wrapped up nicely. But the biggest question I was left wondering was why the 3D or should i say where was the 3D? To say there is a lack of 3D elements in this film would be an understatement. I was really let down by how no effort was made. Nothing new, just a couple of cheap tricks that were used in countless 80's 3D films. It was so very clear that the 3D was an afterthought when making this film. Though not the best offering, it still felt like an appropriate ending to a genre changing franchise. But when I say ending I really wouldn't be surprised if next Halloween Saw eight hits the screens. If so please not 3D or at least make an effort.

Don't Answer the Phone

This film is without doubt pure exploitation. A deeply disturbed photographer and Vietnam veteran terrorizes and kills young women while taunting a female psychologist, by calling her on a radio call-in show. I know I shouldn't have really enjoyed this sleazy film so much but it's just so entertaining. Despite some rather graphic misogynistic violence there are genuine moments of humour. The two lead detectives play most their scenes for laughs, a bust on a brothel had me thinking the film had changed into a slapstick comedy. We are treated to some cheesy montages complete with a soundtrack ripped right from a 70?s porno. And acting and dialogue that borderlines on the absurd. Nicholas Worth's performance as the troubled killer is totally over the top. Some of the scenes of him talking into a mirror or to his "father" are creepy and hilarious at the same time. But for some reason this just adds to the appeal of the film. Apart from some moments of raciest dialogue, that dates the film a little and a somewhat lacklustre ending. I enjoyed every sordid minute. This is exploitation at its best.

A Serbian Film

I did think more than twice about doing a review for this film, as I wasn’t sure that I wanted anyone to know I had watched it. I can unquestionably announce that this is truly the most shocking and disturbing film I have ever watched. I had read all the hype surrounding this film but was very sceptical as I have been caught out by hype about “shocking” films before. Murder-Set-Pieces, August Underground, Slaughtered Vomit Dolls you name it I’ve been left disappointed by it. After watching this however I was left utterly speechless. The first thing that stuck me was how wonderinfully shot and made this film is. No grimy low budget movie on display here. The look of this film could effortlessly pass as a Hollywood blockbuster. Another thing that stood out was the time taken to fully flesh out the main character Milos. You Love actually have some feeing for him and care about him and his family. Milos is a former porn star, who is offered a crazy amount of money to perform in a porn film produced and directed by shady Vukmir. Only catch is that he doesn’t know what type of porn he is shooting until he turns up on the day. What follows takes the torture porn genre to a whole new level. I’ve seen films with scenes of extreme sexual violence, rape and necrophilia before but what made me really perturbed watching this was the aspects’ of paedophilia and underage sex. I doubt I would have been as shocked if it wasn’t for these scenes. There is a scene that involves a newborn baby that outdoes the outrageous baby scene in D'Amato's Anthropophagus. (I didn’t think that would be possible) When Milos refuses to perform in Vukmir’s sick film. We see him next waking up at home beaten, with his wife and son missing. He then backtracks in a drug induced daze to figure out what happened. And through a series of flashbacks he (and we) wittiness all the unimaginable things he did. The ending of this film is truly one of the most soul destroying and sickest in cinematic history. I can’t honestly recommend this film to anyone. By using paedophilia the filmmakers have really pushed the envelope and surely broken the last taboo of what is acceptable in mainstream cinema. I know it was only done to shock (and it worked) but I can only hope that it doesn’t become acceptable for other films to follow and indeed try and out do.

Werewolf in a Women's Prison

This film delivers exactly what the title suggests. A werewolf in a womens prison. Lots of soft-core T&A cheesiness. Customary lesbian scenes and who can forget the sadistic warden. However, this movie doesn't rely on sexploitation alone to provide its entertainment. Its so refreshing in this day and age of CGI FX that this film has a classic guy in a suit werewolf. Complete with red laser eyes. Though ridiculous, is in fact pretty damn cool and I'm pleased they weren't shy about showing it. The acting is up to the normal dire standard for this type of film. The one exception being Eva Derrick who plays a supporting role as Rachel. Who out shines everybody else in this film, by being able to act and being way hotter than any over girl in it. The gore is well over the top and very tacky but great fun and very amusing to watch. A very notable scene has a poor girl getting Bisection by prison bar. This is a great modern exploitation flick. Hilarious, sadistic, sexy and offensive what more could you ask for a WIP movie.

Carver

This is one nasty little film. Ok so the plot is your benchmark campers run into a homicidal backwards hick in the middle of know where. To be honest I did start to find myself getting bored with all the mindless dialogue that I had to sit through for half the film. But by the time the final act kicks off, all hell breaks loose and it turns into one of the most brutal and sadistic torture sickies I have ever watched. The gore factor is amazing and the torture scenes are very disturbing .One scene in particular will have the male viewers sitting rather uncomfortably. It was refreshing to see some creative death scenes that haven't been seen hundreds of time before. Yes this is a low budget film and the plot is nothing new. Yes it's a little over long and at times tedious. But I guarantee that you soon forget all these minor quibbles because it is one hell of a gorefest. This is absolutely not for the Squeamish.

Penance

How can a film with such a strong cast of renowned actors. Graham McTavish, Michael Rooker and Tony Todd. Be one of the most mind-numbingly lacklustre films I've ever watched. The basic plot is religious psychos are kidnapping strippers and torturing them to cleanse their souls. The whole film is shot in the annoying hand held camera documentary style. Even during scenes when it's completely improbable that someone would keep the camera rolling. If this is supposed to be a torture gorno and shocking? it fails. Most of the action is left to the imagination. The only kudos I can give this travesty of a film is that one scene will make the male viewers watching sit uncomfortably. But sadly most the running time is taken up with long winded dialogue that at times makes no logic what so ever. The best thing about this film is when it was finished. What a disappointment. Please don't waste your time.

UpLoad

This is Eva Angelina’s science fiction epic. And I really do mean epic, it cost over $350,000 to make, boasts a cast of 40 and the running time clocks in at an astounding 4 hours and 44 minutes. I believe the best way to describe this film is a mix of “Strange Days" and “The Matrix” but with added intense sex. Eva Angelina plays Cassandra Cray, a strong-minded Federal Law Enforcement Agent for the Digital Security Agency (DSA), which is part of Homeland Security. Angelina is on the trail of Tesla (Hillary Scott), a girl who records her sexual escapades onto a chip, which allows others to experience what she does. (Ala Strange Days) And who is believed to be in possession of a new chip, which acts like a super virus that affects the GRID. The movie is told in flashbacks. Angelina is brought before an Internal Affairs psychiatrist and she recounts the sordid tale of how she tracked down Tesla. Although this is porn with a plot and is aimed at couples. The sex scenes are quite hard and not for the timid. Fisting, pissing, anal, lots of choking and an orgy scene set in hell which is so of the most graphic scenes I’ve ever seen in a “mainstream porn” film. Upload is also noteworthy for Angelina doing her first on-camera anal and double-penetration. And Hillary Scott not to be outshined has a very heated 5-on-1 gangbang scene. I was impressed with how good the acting was and very dazzled by the good use of special FX. The complexity of the plot does get a little lost because some of the sex scenes seem to go on too long. But Sex Z Pictures have set a very high bench mark for what adult Feature films should aim for.